Constitutional Law Mega-Exercise
Your visitor and potential client is Paula Primavera, a resident of the City of East Baton Rouge who introduces herself as High Priestess of the Church of the Divine Order of the Sacred Healing Tree, and proceeds to tell you her story. She owns a building on Jones Creek Road at Shenandoah, next to the public library. (The building used to be a Bank One branch). The building houses her shop, The Benevolent Branch, where she sells books, magazines, tarot cards, candles, scents and other items. She carries out other activities in the converted building including 8 p. m. to 11 p.m. Saturday rites, to which all who are interested are invited. In the evenings she also holds consultations with other practitioners, and conducts personalized services, including seances, palmistry and tea leaf reading.
Ms. Primavera is having some trouble with the law and has come to you for assistance. First, several homeowners in the Shenandoah Estates, Hickory Ridge, Woodlawn and other subdivisions nearby complain that the area is not zoned for all these activities. In particular, they complain that the Saturday night rites, which are now attracting nearly 100 people each week, are disruptive to the neighborhood. People are parking in the public library parking lot, across the street along Shenandoah Drive (inside the subdivisions) and even on the Shenandoah Country Club House lawn. They also object that her Saturday evening worship services are attracting a "bad element" including tattooed teenagers on motorcycles, burly looking fellows who arrive in semis, about 30 or 35 young African Americans, whom she tells you live in New Orleans, and women dressed in "floaty gowns" wearing little or no underwear who are smoking something that doesn't look like traditional cigarettes.
The police have been called on three occasions in the past six months, twice on Saturday nights in response to requests from local homeowners, and once last Monday afternoon. On the last occasion, the responding officers told Ms. Primavera that she was breaking the law by holding her seances and doing palm reading (nobody had finished the tea by the time the police showed up), and that if she did not stop they would arrest her, although they did not tell her for what. They also scanned the shelves in her store, and told her that she was selling adulterated substances and was probably in violation of federal law. As nearly as she can tell, they were objecting to her home made "Passion Jelly", which includes mashed up plums and water, and which she cans herself, and her "Calming Elixir", made up of home grown mashed strawberries, crushed aspirin and "a little bit of wine" which she also makes herself. "I thought it was legal to make wine as long as you don't make over 200 gallons a year," she tells you. She sells the Passion Jelly for $12.50 a jar (6 ounces) and the Calming Elixir for $18.50 a bottle (half a liter). Since she had a lot of wine left over last year, she bottled that up too and advertises it as "Paula's Natural Stress Reducer." "If I can't sell it, can I give it away if people make a donation to my ministry?" She tells you that sipping the wine is part of the Saturday communal rite, served to all who attend.
"Have you ever studied religion?" you ask. As she draws herself up indignantly, you say hastily, "I mean, are you ordained by the Church of the Sacred Fir Tree...or...whatever?"
"I am an ordained clergy person of the Church of the Divine Order." She reveals her final problem as she gets up to leave. "About six months ago one of my congregation came to me with a stomach ailment. She'd been to the doctor but he didn't help. He told her it was all in her head. I talked to her for a while and found out she was having trouble with her marriage. She wants to have a baby, but her husband is always out at night, drinking with his college friends and spending money at the Gold Club. I gave her a special cream and told her that he had to rub it on her belly every night for at least fifteen minutes. All it is is some cold cream I bought at the Walgreen's on the corner and some crushed ginseng and lavender. I told her she'd be pregnant inside of two months. Well, it worked, and I knew it would. She's going to have a baby in March. Her husband is always at home now and they've never been happier."
"So what's the problem?" you say patiently.
"Her mother-in-law--that cow--says I'm practicing medicine without a license. But I didn't give her medicine, and anyhow, that's not what she wanted. She wanted a miracle, and I gave it to her."
"You didn't actually turn her mother-in-law into a cow, or anything, did you?" you ask jokingly. She gives you a withering look and you are glad she seems relatively benign, if a bit loopy. "Anything else you want to tell me?"
"I guess that's it..."her voice trails off. "Oh, except for my sign."
"What sign?"
She pulls a 14 inch by 18 inch printed sign from a capacious satchel she has brought with her. Stifling your curiosity about what else she has in there, you reach for the sign. It reads "Affirmation of Life Ceremonies Performed Here. No charge. Donations cheerfully accepted."
"What are affirmation of life ceremonies?"
"I just started doing those. As a matter of fact, my first one will be for this patient who's expecting next spring. She and her husband are going to come to the church and we'll deliver her baby there, and affirm her life. I already know it's a girl. I didn't tell the parents, though. Anyway," she says sadly, "the police said I had to take it down."
"I see." You gaze thoughtfully at her as you take in her outfit, which consists of a floor length caftan decorated with bits of mirror and sequins, blue silk turban, ballet slippers, and the pendant around her neck that depicts a pentagram. "Do you always dress like that?" you ask. "Usually, especially when I go out. I don't want to move," she continues. "I've spent a lot of money renovating my church and the shop. I'm a good citizen. The members of my congregation don't make noise. We aren't running around in the nude at midnight, you know. And we don't kidnap children or carry out Satanic rites or kill chickens. We don't stick pins into voodoo dolls. I practice and teach only white magic. Besides, there are a lot of other shops in the neighborhood. And the parking really isn't my problem. The public library closes at 6 on Saturday. A lot of people park there after hours. Plus, there is that big Baptist church or whatever across the street. You can't go anywhere on Jones Creek Road on Sunday mornings between 10 and 1 p.m. because of all their traffic. There's usually a sheriff on duty directing the flow of cars. They've never offered that to me and my congregation." She looks at you earnestly. "You've got to help me. I'm being discriminated against, and not only that, I might have to go to jail. And I'm only practicing my religion." She stares at you suddenly. "Your aura is very blue, did you know that?"
Suppressing the urge to ask her if she drank any of that wine she bottled right before she stopped by, and glad that she isn't planning to set up a website, you tell her you'll get back to her, and she drifts out the door, assuring your secretary that a phone call won't be necessary, she (Paula) will know when you want to see her next. As you wonder how she got your name, you begin to list the issues that face her and sketch out a research strategy.
For purposes of this exercise assume that the Church of the Divine Order is an appropriately recognized religious institution and registered charitable organization (i.e. it is a 501(c)(3) corporation).
Some questions to consider:
1. Is Ms. Primavera right? Is this completely a freedom of religion issue?
2. Can the police arrest her? If so, on what grounds?
3. Do the neighbors have grounds for objecting to the activities at The Benevolent Branch? If so, which ones and on what grounds?
4. Is Ms. Primavera within her rights in selling her jelly and her elixir? If not, can she give them away to folks who make a donation (or to anyone who asks?) What about the Natural Stress Reducer?
5. Is Ms. Primavera practicing medicine without a license?
6. Should you find out if she drinks any of that wine herself? Should you find out who else drinks it and when?
7. Do you foresee any problems should Ms. Primavera appear at a future trial dressed in her usual costume? If so, which ones?
8. What problems do you foresee with Ms. Primavera's "Affirmation of Life" ceremonies? What should you counsel her to do with regard to these issues?